More Secrets
by cwhotchprentissfan
Summary: Garcia talks to Emily about her past with Doyle, the personal not the case.


**Garcia hasn't really come to terms with what happened between Emily and Ian Doyle. She talks to Emily about the time she spent in Ireland. I know... not a great summary and I swear I will eventually finnish the other story I started about a year or more ago. oopsie :)**

"Hey Em! Get in here!" Garcia spouted as she answered the door. Emily Prentiss was enveloped in a huge hug as her friend pulled her into what was the most colorful apartment on earth. "Hey PG, what's up? I got you text that you needed to talk to me about something? Is everything ok?" Garcia smiled sadly. "Yes, sugar plum, everything is fine. There are just some questions I've had in the back of my mind, rolling around for a while that I need to hear answered." Garcia poured Emily a glass of wine and led her to the couch. "PG, is this about Ian?" Emily asked nervously. Garcia smiled, "I hate profilers you know… and yes my dear it is. I know you probably don't want to talk about it or think about him at all but there are some things we just can't put together in our heads. Things that have been beaten to death the past year but we still can't figure out."

Emily smiled, she has been there. Wondering why her life turned out this way, the what ifs, the could have beens. She looked her friend in the eye and said, "Ask away, if I can answer I will, a lot is still classified. But this isn't about the actual case is it? This is about the personal." Garcia just shook her head, "I really hate it that you can do that." She smiled. "I guess the first thing I need to know is if you loved him? I mean really love him?" Emily took a sip of her wine and a deep breath. "Yes," she sighed, "Yes, I did. I would have married him had it been under different circumstances, had we been different people. I was in way over my head." Emily paused just long enough for Garcia to ask, "What do you mean?" in a quiet almost frightened voice. She hadn't expected that answer. She hadn't expected her Emily to sound so sad or impassioned. Emily nodded and continued. "It was like he was two totally different people sometimes. When we were working, selling weapons to one another he was ruthless, he was arrogant and rude. He scared me. But once the business end was done, it was like he had flipped a light switch. The darkness left his eyes and he smiled." She said smiling broadly, off in her own world of memories. "He was handsome and charming and a wonderful father. He did everything for Declan. In the end that is what broke him. I took that from him, I took away what humanity he had left in him. I faked my death and that of his son. His pride and joy, and it almost killed Ian. When he saw the pictures I had taken, he lost Ian. He became Doyle, Valhalla, whatever you want to call him. I destroyed that little piece of humanity he had left."

Emily looked down at her hands as a tear slid down her cheek. Garcia looked down and then reached out to grasp Emily's hand. "I don't know if I'll ever understand why you agreed to go under cover but I understand why you stayed." "PG, I did it because I was young enough and naïve enough to believe I could go undercover that deep and come out unscathed. I knew he was dangerous and I knew what was expected of me. They didn't come out and say 'you'll have to sleep with him' but I knew. I liked the danger and I wanted the challenge. But once I was in, I wanted to go home, I wanted to curl up in my bed in my apartment and wake up in my life. Instead I became Lauren Reynolds, arms dealer to the rich and dangerous Ian Doyle. I fell in love with him before I knew he was Valhalla. No one knew he was the big fish, we thought he was a step to getting to the big fish." "If you weren't going to marry him why did you have his ring? Why did you keep it all these years?" Garcia asked. "I met up with him on a back road. I had a very large truck full of very dangerous weapons for him to buy. I was leaning up against the truck when they pulled up trying to look all sexy. Ian always rode in the second car, Never, the first. So when they got out and wanted to look in the truck I pushed away from it and sauntered over to lean against the first truck. He watched me questioningly. His second in command, tried to tell him not to trust me, that I was 'unbelievable' and not in a good way. Ian looked at me and smiled and said 'get in the truck.' So I went to the second car and sat in the back seat and waited for him. I was so nervous, I thought I was dead. Then he got in, and he smiled at me and said 'Hello my Darling,' he kissed me like I had dreamed of being kissed since I was a little girl. It was like a fairy tale. He gave me the ring, and said, 'My love, this was my grandmothers, I want you to have it. My grandfather gave it to her to say they would forever be joined. I hope one day we will be as well.' And that was it. I was hooked, I was ready to give up my job and run away and forever be his."

Emily smiled but she looked so sad. "Even after everything, when he looked at me and Declan as he died, I felt the pain and the grief of losing the closest thing I had ever had to a family all over again. There is something else I never told anyone. And I don't want you to hate me ok?" Penelope Garcia looked shocked, after everything, she still has secrets. "Em, I could never hate you. I can't promise I won't get mad or frustrated. You have a lot of very complicated and dark secrets. Will you ever share everything with us? We're your family Em."

"Penelope, there are some things in my past that just hurt too much to share with everyone, things that I'm not proud of. I try to do what's right, what's best for everyone involved."


End file.
